“It Doesn’t Feel Fair” – A Message About Surveillance, Boycott, and Human Dignity
“It Doesn’t Feel Fair” – A Message About Surveillance, Boycott, and Human Dignity
By Ronen Kolton Yehuda (MKR: Messiah King RKY)
For many years I live with a heavy feeling: that many people know who I am, that some may watch me even inside my home, and that instead of helping me, society chose to isolate and boycott me.
More than that: for about a decade I live with the belief that people watch me on TV, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week – as if my life is a kind of reality show that I never agreed to join. This is not a metaphor for me. This is how my reality feels from the inside.
Who I am – a short introduction
I am not a completely unknown person.
I worked in high-tech.
I am an artist, actor, singer, singer-songwriter.
I invented DV Language, a new textual way to write and read music.
I am an inventor in other areas.
More than 10 years ago, I said openly that I want to be Prime Minister.
I founded a new religion project and see myself as an angel of God – in my understanding, a person who belongs to God and tries to serve God’s will.
I come from a normative family. I had friends from school and neighborhood who later worked in media and reality shows. I went to auditions myself. Friends of friends work in TV and culture. The municipality in my city knew me, invited me to perform, and even spoke with me about doing a festival.
So my life touched: culture, technology, religion, internet, and public institutions.
Because of that, it is hard for me to accept the idea that “nobody knows who I am” or that I am completely invisible inside the systems around me.
Security models and the feeling of an “artificial filter”
In my imagination and understanding, in such a system:
…is usually noticed.
I have two citizenships – Israeli and Polish – and that means I am also a citizen of the European Union. I am moving toward a third citizenship, and in the future I also want to have US citizenship. So my life is not only local – it is connected to more than one state and legal system.
Once, someone from the music world told me:
“Sometimes an album sits on a shelf for five years before someone decides to make it famous.”
In my imagination, I am exactly in this place:
I exist, I create, I invent, I write, I record –
But my life is frozen. I do not go up, I do not fully disappear. I’m just “held” in one position.
To me, it feels like some kind of intervention by systems – security, media, or both – and that they definitely know who I am, because I am inside society, not outside of it. If my belief about being watched on TV 24/7 is even partly true, then this “artificial filter” is not only about fame – it is about control.
How it feels to live like this
Emotionally, it feels like living in a cage without bars.
I feel:
Sometimes I feel as if every move, every word, every mistake is seen by a silent audience that never speaks back to me.
The worst part is often silence:
So I am left between two painful possibilities:
That my imagination is wrong – but then nobody cares enough to help me feel safe.
That my imagination is partly right – and then some part of society and authority is quietly abusing me.
Both options are very hard to live with.
I see myself as an angel of God – but I am also a human being
But even if I use this spiritual language, I am also a human being with feelings:
But here is an important question for the international society:
If this is true – what kind of crimes is the world looking at?
If such things are really happening to any person – not only to me – then it is a human rights problem and a crime problem, not only a “personal story.”
A message to ordinary people – do not participate
I want to speak directly to people everywhere – in Israel, in Europe, in America, and any other place:
If you ever feel that you are being asked, in a direct or indirect way, to:
Please stop and think.
Ask yourself:
Even if a powerful person, an organization, or an authority hints that “this is for security” or “this is for the good of the state,” you still have your own conscience.
History shows that “I only followed orders” is not a good defense when we look back.
So my request is simple:
What I ask from the international society
How much surveillance is acceptable?
What protections do people with disabilities and mental struggles really have?
What happens when security, media, and social networks mix together in silent ways?
How do we make sure that no person is quietly destroyed in the name of “order” or “image”?
What I hope for is:
Closing – a hope to solve it, not only to talk about it
My hope is:
I do not ask to be perfect.
I ask to be treated as a human being, and as a person that is part of the society, and as a soul that belongs to God.
And that, I believe, is something every person on earth deserves.
Living Under the Spotlight I Never Chose
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